.....

it has been a tough days recently... wasnt really happen after tuesday....
felt dead lonely and dead sad...
my heart sank to the bottom of the sea...
i wan the person who realise what happen to me seems cant see anything
instead my best friend did....

whatever i'm doin doesnt please me...
whatever i did just make me more unhappy...
i shud have change myself already...
feel lik changing to the one tat dun speak much...

i wanna shut my own heart now...
felt really pain, sad and lonely inside.....
i dun wan my heart hurt more than this anymore...
time to be alone now...

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

anniversary day (30-5-2009)

today is important day for me...
our 6 month anniversary....
today would be his last day of orientation....
one of the things that i worry is goin to start soon....
its kinda sad that we unable to celebrate our anniversary
but den i still hope for the best for his day....

honestly i did felt that love doesnt really matters for us now
coz slowly little by little start pushing me aside...
i dun mind he push me aside some other day...
but not today....

yes i know i shud not think of tat...
shud not be selfish either...
with his current situation with studies, family, friends and problem,
i shud let him go.... i dun mean by breaking up or something
let him go as in his freedom....
i dunno how to put it in words... but yea... roughly lik that...

i take alot of his time already.....
its kinda all by myself onli....
selfsih... one word to discribe...
i agree with tat Steven....
i din plan to tell him how i felt...
so i wrote it here....
as i know he dun usually update himself in my blog...
aka he dun read... so i prefer to wrote here instead...
if i told him, he would feel guilty....

today after i came back from uni....
i took a nap...
was waiting for his reply for 6 hours...
felt kinda tired....
for tat moment i think of this

The time has come,
To let the bird free,
By opening its cage,
And let him fly.

Let it fly as long it wants,
I'll leave the cage open for him,
He will be back to me,
When he need support, shelter, and love.

Fly anywhere you want,
But do remember one thing,
She always there waiting for the bird
But never trap it again in a cage


yea... i know its silly.... but den... big day today
but nothing can be done....
i admit tat i am sad bout tat...
although this is not the first time we are not celebrating...
but some how i felt really sad bout tis time...
sorry...

as usual.... as last time...
being left behind by my friends
and now being left behind in my life...
acting i'm ok all the while...
yea rite... i'm fake....
i admit tat.... i just dun lik to show i'm damn upset bout tat...

sleepover it.... nite... ciaoz

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

Dedicate to someone

When will we meet again?
I don't know
When will we spent our time again?
I don't know

I was too afraid to think of anything
As i always think
'Will this be the last time for us?'
I know it sounds silly
But i really afraid

When you cry
I felt pain in my heart
When you laugh
I felt joy in me

Pain and sorrow
Sadness and tears
Everything single things
Which hurt your fragile Heart
Is unable to patch back

I cant promise you
But I will try my best to heal
By showing how deep is my love
But its up to you to receive it

Alot of things happened recently
Where stuff gone worst time to time
I am sorry for everything
As it happen cause of me

When time comes
Decision will be made
A decision where it good for us
For avoiding further pain or sadness

As time move on
Our distance is more further apart
We are heading our own ways now
But our heart will never be apart

Love is without condition
No matter how it looks like
Either beauty or ugly,
Handsome or Charming,
No matter how his or her personalities,
No matter how bad is his or her past,
Either good or bad,
Love is no limits for me

What will i be without you
What can i do without you
I wont be here if it is not because of you
As you are everything to me

You are my light
And you are the music in me
My world will be in darkness
and I will feel lonely without you

I can lose everything but not you
Even sacrifice myself
Which i willing to
I would do it for you
No matter what it takes

I know everyone have only one life
And I cherish it fully
Although we know each other last 3 years
But i did not regret of meeting you again last 6 months
As i gave you my heart, life and soul
I am fully yours
I hope you will hold and keep it well
As i believe in you

I will love you and always do
And that would be forever lasting as we hopes
No words able to describe bout how i feel
But there is only one thing i would say
Which is I Love You


Dedicate to my dear ~ Simon Hiew


~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

Emo~~~

Recently happen alot of stuff....
those that i never expect to happen...
but what it happens already happens....
now i have problem to accept the fact...
i asked alot of opinion bout this matter....
some does help me...
i'm sorry dear that i told some of my frens bout it
but u have no one to tell to....
sorry....
i am sorry for everything....
sorry for the pressure....
shud have 'ti liang' bout you...
sry....

Hint: front 4 for our password
*those who wanna read, kindly pm me at msn*

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

20 April 2009

Went out with Simon today... Go 1 utama.... for the first time went out so far with him... not by car but public transport!! yesterday i told him to meet at 9am at KL Sentral... but den this morning we change the time... I reach KL Sentral at 9.30am... well... i kinda lied to Simon tat i haven reach coz i dun wan him to rush *Sry Lord*

He reach at 10.30am.... We got on the bus (U82) to go to 1utama.... the ride took almost 45 minutes to reach from KL Sentral.... reach 1utama the first thing we head to is to the cinema!! we wanted to watch Unborn but too bad... dun have tat show... so we choose either Shinjuku Incident or Fast and Furious 4... we choose Fast and Furious 4 coz we wanted to walk b4 the show....

Went in to some of the scrap book shops.... kinda expensive for the papers... even for the scrap book decoration.... but den i got some ideas for the gift i wanna give Simon as our 1st year of anniversary... we had our lunch at a restaurant near the cinema... the restaurant onli sells pasta and pizza.... it was a Superb lunch!! we had a pasta and a pizza which is full of cheese!! YUMMY!!

Life is great with cheese!! agree dear!!!

we had our movie at 2.30pm... no comments bout Fast and Furious!! totally cool!! i love those cars.... especially the Honda at the end of the show.... finish at 4 smt and we head back at 5pm plus... ride to kl sentral took almost 1 hour... Jam... today the weather hot like hell!! was sweating in the bus...

reach kl sentral bout 6pm + and was having a major headache plus with sleepiness... wahlao eh.... coz of tat i had a bad mood and kinda treat Simon badly... release anger ><... sorry dear.... i'll make it up to you...

overall.... it was a great day... more update for tomoro...

Ciaoz....

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

Worry.... and Easter Celebration

Today went for Easter celebration at HLLC Youth (Holy Light Lutheran Church).... reach there around 8am+ for skit practice.... actually its scary coz can say this is the 2nd time i acted in front of audience... everything goes on smoothly... we played game, worship, talks, skit, and some other activites.... played 3 games today.... its fun... haha.... nothing able to describe the feeling while playing those games....

in one of the games, Simon fell hard on his leg... after the celebration, both of us and his family drop by a shopping mall... that time he told me his leg felt kinda hurtful... *heartache* i told him that he shud be careful while playing games.... and he shud not take games seriously as games meant to be games... he told me that if he din fell down in the game, Josiah would knock to the chair instead of falling down... *sigh*

sacrifice self for frens... that is something i amaze about him... he never mind that he will get hurt for someone's good... today he not feeling well since morning... he never want to tell me until i realise myself... once got on the car from church he fainted once... lucky he able to be awake when i called him.... after shopping he fainted again in the car... everyone in the car tot that he were asleep... by that time i felt asleep too... i din know that.... after around 15 minutes, his mum wake me up... asking me wanna eat chicken rice anot... i answer i'm ok with anything.... i called simon... no reply... no reaction.... not even a sound.... but den i leave him alone coz i tot he slept deeply inside in his own world....

reach his house around 5.30pm... i woke simon up again... at least he woke up this time.... get down from the car, start drizzling already.... when in the house and sat down next to him.... am having major headache that time... ate a donut from "big apple".... he asked me to take a nap and so i did... at 6pm, he took nap also... he is slept on his bro's bed coz i slept on his bed... (they share the same room)

at 7.30pm.... i opened my eyes.... saw the whole room pitch black... i look at simon... glad tat he was there... if not i will be freaking sked.... i called his name beside him... no respond... after 10 minutes of calling, he finally woke up... i told him tat i goin back already... he said that "i cant believe i slept.... now so late already... and i cant drive you out... not feeling well..." *actually was onli 7.40pm*

he told me to asked his dad to fetch me out to the bus stop... i said i dun wan... after that he say "if you dun wan my dad send you out, den i drive"... i also said "dun wan!! you not feeling well!! still wan drive?! no way!!" we "argue" about 10 minutes.... he said that he is worry bout my safety... i was thinking, "my safety? after you send me out, watever happens to you no one knows..."

i cried while he hug me when we were "arguing"... he asked me am i crying... i deny it... i dun wan him to felt guilty or watever... there is onli 2 reasons that i cried.... one is because he is sick and i not able to stay beside him... 2nd is even he is sick, he wanna send me out too.... 3rd is i really worry bout him... in the end, his mum came in and said his mum fetch me out... in my heart i said "thank goodness" and i heard simon said "thanks Lord" *wink wink*

until now i am very worry bout him as he din pick my calls and reply my messages...


before the activities starts

Game 1 : "pulses"

condition : must close our eye *dun peep*

punishment for those who pass the wrong "pulses"

skit... ><

another shot of it

Preparing Game 2 : Police, Robber and Money Game

Robbers trying to pass the police

Preparing Game 3: surround our self in circle made with newspaper...
Condition: pick candies on the floor but! with our eyes close

2 team preparing...

my team ^_^

candies on floor waiting us to collect them

my team's candies - 79 candies we manage to collect ^_^

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

April Fool (not trick but some sort celebrate)

Well... April fool is a day to trick ppl... but we have a different april fool tis year...
We have a "celebration" on tat day at Station 1... we ate lunch and chit chat there for about 1 hour.... in between we have photo session also.... there are 7 people there that time which is Me, Hui Ing, Nicole, Cherri, Eric, Esther and You Zi... (^_^)


this is Esther's drink - Blue Lemonade (suppose to be Hui Ing de but den they exchange)

Hui Ing de lunch

Hui Ing and Esther's drink

Hui Ing's lunch in close

You Zi's drink

My chocolate milk shake and french fries

My dino drinking esther's drink.. haha (fake de)

Dino and fries ^^

Me and Ing Ing de photo session

Ing, Dino and Me!!


~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥

Updates for my anniversary (31/3/2009)

me and simon have been together for 5 month.... i agree to be his gal on 31st of october 2009.... and so here we are... 5th month anniversary.... luckily falls on tuesday.... he gave me a surprise earlier in the morning already.... he told me tat he is on leave coz of this.... i was so touched by that.... i suppose to wake up at 7am to finish up his present... but in the end woke up at 10am... why leh... coz lazy lo!! but anyhow... i finish his present in 1 hour time....

went out at 11 or 11.30am den reach wangsa maju station at 12.... wait him there for about 5 minute den i got a surprise from him... was so happy till i cant say anything.... i gave him his present in the train... he was speechless too.... reach asia jaya saw you zi and eric.... tot of going to MCD to eat de but in the end go to PD canteen eat....

pack chicken rice den went to PE eat.... i went for class den Simon was playing computer at lab using my ID.... i started my class at 2 and finish at 5.... in the class, all i was thinking is how to make Simon stay longer... i know he cant but i wanted him to stay.... i cant even concentrate in class..... at 3pm, he told me he going back already.... i was kinda pissed off with myself coz i cant make him stay with me....

when he told me goodbye all i say is "go la..." den he walked off... after tat i pissed off then i shouted "go if you wanna go".... i go after simon... he was out of my sight in campus... i ran out of campus... saw him walked quickly.... den i shouted his name few times.... he cant hear... the more i shout the more he walked further.... in the end i decided to run... run after him... to apologize for wat i did...

miracle happen during i was running towards him.... he suddenly turn back and started to walked back towards the campus... i apologize and i start crying.... i was so regretful of telling that to him... after 10-15 minutes chat outside campus, he finally take his way to go back.... tat time was still 3.30pm... suddenly my class ended at 4pm... i was like "OMG"... but anyhow, i sit Utar bus back and Simon sit rapid bus back to asia jaya... i reach there around 4.40pm and simon reach there at 4.15pm...

he purposely delay his time for me... but in the end we meet in the train... i stay close with him as i miss that feeling just before he leave at KL central.... at tat time, i really "bu shi de" him... tat is how we end our day ^^


the gift box that i put his present in

His present from me... DKNY Energizing Perfume

tis is how it looks like after complete ^^

near shot ^^ i open the cover of the bottle so when he open the present, got the perfume smell ^^

this is the box of gift he gave me.. contain of 4 present

1- Dino... cutey

2- something that he made by himself

this is the one tat he made by himself in the bottle... the previous pic is i take out everything d ^^

3- mushy... my 2nd mushy tat i have... hehe

well... this is wat he wrote to me in the paper in the bottle....
although kinda paiseh stuff... but its something i'm proud and happy with ^^

~♥~ show you a sweet dream next night ~♥~

By,
♥ Michelle ♥